Unemotional Goodbyes
by Tsuyunoinochi Koukyo
Summary: After Cordelia dies, Angel goes into depression. Complete!


                                                                                    **_Unemotional Goodbyes_**

                                                                                                By Renalanford65 

****

            _(I could have saved her.  I could have prevented all of this.)_

Angel paced about the room, his hands clasped behind his back.  Fred entered the room, her brown hair flowing over her shoulders.

                "Angel…you've been mourning for over a week now.  Cordie's gone…face it."  She said, wringing her hands at the uncomfortable silence that followed her hollow words.

                "…I should have saved her.  She shouldn't have died."  His voice shook.

                _(Why do I have a soul if pain is all it gives me?)_

"Stop blaming yourself.  It wasn't your fault."

                "No.  It was, I just know it.  I should have saved her."  He repeated.

                Fred shrugged and left the black clad figure alone, heading up the steps.

                "Anything?"  Gunn asked.  He frowned at her sad expression. 

                "Well, we can be glad for one thing.  Angelus isn't coming out anytime soon."  Fred said, her frown deepening.

                "No jokes, please.  Not until we fix this."

                "But we've all tried.  Nothing is working."  Laurent said.

                "He'll come around.  Eventually."  Wesley said.

                Angel now sat on a chair, still thinking about Cordelia.

                _(I should have known she was going to die.  I could have saved her!)_

"Angel…" A familiar voice rang in his head.

                "Buffy?"  The grieving vampire looked around, his head spinning.

                _(She's supposed to be dead.  I know she should be dead!)_

"Angel…I am dead.  But I have been sent here to help you."

                Help me?  How?"  He refused to believe she was here.

                "Help you get over Cordelia.  She says hello."

                "I am over her.  I'm fine.  Go away."  He snarled, getting fed up with her persuasive human personality.

                _(Just because she's dead doesn't mean she isn't still annoying.)_

"Angel…she is fine.  She says not to worry."

                "Go away."

                "But…"

                "I said **GO AWAY**!"  His vampire form broke free and he snarled, shaking madly.  He felt her presence leave and he relaxed into his human form.  Well, as relaxed as he could be with Cordelia's death bearing down on his human soul.  And he began to think again.

                "Angel."  Another voice rang in his throbbing head.

                "I said go away Buffy."  Angel frowned, getting up.

                "I'm not Buffy."  The voice said.  It had a familiar tune, one he had been longing to hear.

                "Cordelia…"

                "Yes.  I'm here now."  Cordelia's frame appeared from the darkness.

                "Why are you here?"

                "To help you."  Came her simple reply.

                "…H-help me?"  He was unusually afraid.

                "You have to go on.  Come with me."  She held out her hand, which he reluctantly took.  He closed his eyes, thinking this was all a dream, and then he was floating.  They reached someone's balcony, an old man's.  The vampire and the spectral ghost of Cordelia watched as the man leaned over and violently shook, pulsing with the beginnings of a fatal heart attack.  He lurched forward, hitting the hardwood floor with a dull and hollow thud.

                Angel sat, watching the old man's final breaths.

                "Why…why did you bring me here?"  Angel asked.

                "Angel, everyone dies, at one time or another."  Cordelia whispered.

                "But it was too early for you."  He remained as stubborn as always, even with his dead friend right there in front of him.

                "You died around my age too, right?"

                "Yeah…but I came back."

                "Well…maybe I'll come back too.  Watch for me, Angel."  She handed him a silk white feather.  "Watch for me."

                Angel sat up, adjusting his eyes to the darkness.

                "Cordelia?"  His hand fell to the side, where a silky white feather was resting, glinting with the brightness of Cordelia's smile.


End file.
